“unconditional acceptance is the first step in opening the door to the miracle of forgiveness”.
Thich Naht Hahn
To truly accept others as they are, we must first truly accept ourselves. What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see a beautiful, kind, loving, and forgiving person? Do you see all of the beauty and admirable and even remarkable qualities that are within you and that others describe as seeing in you? Do you see that you are perfect and acceptable? If we cannot accept ourselves; just the way that we are, we cannot accept others the way that they are. It is impossible.
I know that I definitely do not always see what others observe in me. I often wish that I could see “me” with my husbands eyes and heart. The way that my husband describes me to others causes me to blush; I feel like he is describing some angelical and mystical creature. He accepts me as I am.
Unconditional: wholehearted, unqualified, unreserved, unlimited, unrestricted, unmitigated, unquestioning, without condition, not limited by conditions.
Acceptance: the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered,favorable reception; approval; favor.
When we learn to unconditionally accept, we do not seek to change each other; we embrace each other for all of our uniqueness, flaws, quirks, beauty, wisdom, experiences, and qualities. We truly learn to enjoy to be in each others presence. There is a sense of ease and freedom to be in the company of someone that truly accepts you; it is easy, relaxed,empowering, and enjoyable.
Have you ever had the experience of being with someone that causes you to feel like you are walking around on egg shells, or that no matter what you do, you just don’t measure up? Do you feel like a circus animal; performing acts that are completely out of your nature? People that cause you to feel this way, are not showing unconditional acceptance of you.
O.K. here is the thing. You must forgive yourself for your transgressions. You must move forward, let go, and accept. The way that I work through a lot of my own “stuff”, is to think about what I would say to my daughter or what I want for her. I want nothing but the best for her, I want her to see herself the way that I see her. I want her to know how lovable, acceptable, beautiful, and worthy that she is. I want her to feel and know Unconditional Acceptance. My greatest desire is for anyone that I come in contact with to know Unconditional Acceptance from me. That is my goal;I am a work in progress.
Watch out for the following:
- Negative self talk; you believe yourself
- Criticism of your body
- A constant and relentless need for self improvement
- Feeling that you are not good enough
- Fear of failure
- Constant concern about making mistakes
- Feeling lazy, undisciplined, and unworthy
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to improve our body, mind and spirit. I am in no way saying that we should stop trying to be better. I am suggesting that we check our motivation; things that motivate us from a negative place are counter intuitive. I know from experience that I am much more successful at making changes when I approach my goal from a positive place.
Give love; get love. Give Acceptance; get acceptance. Give understanding; get understanding. You see where I am going with this. You are perfect, acceptable, lovable and beautiful. You are worthy. Be kind to you. Accept your flaws and you will accept that others have flaws but are none the less perfect, beautiful and ACCEPTABLE. Simple.
Peace and Blessings.