When I was 15, I couldn’t wait to be 18. I remember daydreaming about what I would do if the day ever came that I actually had my 18th birthday. I mean, time just seemed to go so slow. I was sure that I was destined to be 15 forever, tormented by my mother; she was obviously trying to ruin my life. Teachers, and most other adults; except my grandmother, she was much too cool and awesome to annoy me, were all trying to ruin my life! I was sure that time had completely stopped. I was stuck in some kind of neutral time machine.
Fast forward to somewhere in my thirties(ish) . Time began to quicken. I started to notice little things, like the way that a little extra fluff wanted to stay around my mid section; I know, this doesn’t actually have anything to do with time but, I did notice it and it was definitely annoying! Our daughter was born, and then BAM! She was graduating from high school. I remember begging her to slow down and just enjoy being a child, I remember emploring her not to rush into adulthood; with it came responsibility and the expectation for her to actually give up childish behaviors. I remember telling her that once you’re there (adulthood), you cannot turn back. She grew up anyway. I keep meaning to ask her what she thinks about the whole thing now?
Do you remember overhearing adults having conversations about the changes in youth today, or current events, and thinking to yourself “boy, I hope I never get that old”. They would talk about how we were all going to break our necks in those silly bell bottom pants, or how salacious our dance moves were. The thoughts that adults have about youth of the times is always connected to the past. Fascinating. It is as though their childhood was only just yesterday. Time just speeds by. Time does just keep slipping, slipping, slipping, into the future- as the Steven Miller Band song Fly Like an Eagle (released in 1976) says.
I am working to truly live in the no time, no space; I strive to live in the moment. Mindful walking, trying to hold my thoughts only on the present. Trying not to judge “the youth of today”. It truly takes a great deal of intention, effort, and patience to stay in the moment. I have found that in the moments that I allow my mind to wander into the worries of the future; especially with all that is currently going on in our country, our world, I am overcome with fear. In thinking about this, I also realized that when I am filled with fear, I am vulnerable to being easily influenced by that which promotes itself as comfort. My ability to make clear, reasonable and solid choices is absolutely non existent when I am acting in fear. It is fascinating to realize that this is just a microscopic “blip” on the radar of existence.
“Don’t Look Back, Your Not Going That Way”Mary Engelbreit
My guides say this-
Time is irrelevant. Fear is robbery. All balance comes from being in connection with one’s highest self. When we are in true balance, time, fear, anxiety, and worries do not have power. The joy of being in balance and harmony leaves no space for nonsense.
Enjoy the now!